We went to the strangest wedding today. Strange isn't even the word, my family is strange.. Sergio's really good friend from work decided to marry this girl out of nowhere. Sergio and I started out REALLY fast, but we were always very comfortable and open w/ each other. We fit right, it works. Anyways, this dude spent a week w/ us last year in Tampa and I guess got jealous and kept saying he needs to find a girl,blah blah. He meets this Chinese girl (she's Manderin, he's Cantonese. They can only communicate in English), her visa is about to expire and suddenly she's the one. I personally think she's an insecure person, she got all psycho cause he had FHM magazines and stupid little shit. okay okay, I need to get to the wedding part

The wedding was in Hialeah, in his reception hall...I think.. The wedding was held there, infact the DJ performed the wedding ceremony, ummm..yeah. He sounded like an instructor in a workout video, I couldn't stop laughing. IT WAS THE LONGEST WEDDING MARCH EVVVVEERRR! You know how in some Catholic weddings, it's like 1 step PAUSE another step PAUSE down that long ass eisle in the church? They managed to do that but longer down the little path they made..so the whole wedding party walked like that to the "alter"...and when i was over...WALKED LIKE THAT AGAIN....and then they come back to introduce them and they did the fucking wedding march again! There was an open bar, so I asked Sergio to push his luck and see if he could get me a Chocolate Covered Cherry, that was my fav drink at Mark's wedding. They didn't have it, so he got me a Pina Colada. I took a sip and was like "WHY DID THEY PUT VODKA IN A PINA COLADA?!" he drank it and was like wtf.. well, we were wrong, it was Rum..but really really bad cheap rum. I wonder what the brand is,because I'm not pretentious ..my ass used to drink ANYTHING when I was going to parties at UCF hahahahah I'z jus wanna getz crunk! It tasted like rubbing alcohol......then we had champagne and it tasted like carbonated toilet water. We smelled food, we didn't eat breakfast cause we were like "They're Chinese, they're gonna have some good Asian food!" Al's dad has a restaurant and his uncle does too. The food was...I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT WAS..I just managed to eat the rice..it wasn't Chinese, that's all I know.
Okay,his brother said "the little kids in the family have a treat for you, they're going to do the Heehaw dance" I thought he said "hi-ha" maybe it's a traditional Chinese dance...I don't know
Next thing I know, I see little chinese kids w/ cowboy hats and I hear
"If it hadn't been for Cotton-Eye Joe
I'ld been married long time ago
Where did you come from where did you go
Where did you come from Cotton-Eye Joe"

that's blasting out the speakers...man, I almost pissed myself. I DON'T GET IT..WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO W/ THE WEDDING?! Don't get me started on these kids, they never ever dance in the whole wide world. Good, they were the only ones dancing and having fun. The cha cha slide came on, I would have so done it if more people did it. I know it now! I listened to it sober! hahahahaha
OH, damn..the most uncomfortable part was their first dance together. They didn't look comfy, they didn't look like they've ever touched each other before. It was kinda like those arranged marriages..it was so scary.

I felt really bad for him. He planned this really quick like our buddy Mark. Unfortunately, they didn't really look into it and go into detail like Mark and Gabby. Because, they did spend an ass load of money and I believe it..it's just next to impossible to plan a full wedding that quick. He was very stressed and telling Sergio how much everything was......these people will jump on u and milk you for all you've got cause you're doing it so fast. I wish I could have helped them out, he's a really great guy...and I felt like they were robbed. So, if you want to get married and entertain over 100 guest........give it time! You do not want a strange wedding like this and get married by a DJ lol